FAKE PIES!

For the avoidance of doubt, The British Pie Awards definition of a pie is one whose filling is “wholly encased in pastry and baked.”

Not half dressed, even if it is with some fancifully complex lattice work.

Not a dish of minced beef or lamb topped with mashed potato, no matter how intricately you pipe it.

And most definitely not that old American faithful pumpkin ‘pie’. SHE IS A TART! (Thank you Nellie Boswell for gifting that to the nation, it never gets old!)

Filling without a complete encasing of pastry is like bread without butter; like a roast dinner without gravy; like tea without cake. Unthinkable.

So stop it. At once.